


You Look Happier

by TrisPond



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Black Jackals, Canon - Manga, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt, M/M, One-Sided Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Schweiden Adlers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:48:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23384017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrisPond/pseuds/TrisPond
Summary: Now you're playing against me and all I can see is you with him.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 18
Kudos: 171





	You Look Happier

I never thought that it would hurt so much to finally face you in an official match. 

I never stopped to think about the fact that if we faced each other, someone else would have to set to you. Of course, you already had plenty of other people help you with it before, especially in Brazil, but it’s only now that it hits me: _There’s someone else at your side and it ain’t me._

It’s Miya Atsumu that is by your side, looking perfectly at easy with you, as if he belong there. I watch as you talk to him, you smile and you look so free and happy. You never looked this happy with me or anyone before. 

I feel jealous as I watch you two, even though I know I shouldn’t be. I let my chance to confess to you pass right through me and before I knew you’re were going to an airport to live in another country. 

That was when I knew that I had to let you go. You had to be completely free there, you had to allow yourself to grow in ways that you never could with me. But deep down I always waited for you to come back to me. 

I thought you’d find me and just understand that we’ve been apart for far too long. Instead, you found someone else, somebody that seems to has your full attention the way I once had. 

Maybe he is better for you. He doesn’t have to yell with you to make you understand what he wants, instead he says soft words. And you laugh all the time, even if we’re in the middle of a game. 

“Kageyama, I’ll win this game,” you say as Miya gets ready to serve.

It might be true, your team is certainly strong. You are more than strong now too, the beach and Brazil has been good to you. You’re no longer the boy that hide yourself when seeing an intimation opponent (through you always ended up challenged then in the end), your confidence is showing now and it has come from blood, sweat and tears. 

I can’t stop but think how Miya had to go to the back row for you turn your attention back to me. This was supposed to be our match and it still is, I know you want to win this more than anything, but it doesn’t feel right to have Atsumu here with us. 

But the game distracts me from you and him, and just for a bit I can forget everything about my feelings for you. I see how amazing you became, with so many new plays and it’s truly like you can do everything that you want now. 

The set ends and Atsumu looks at me. He is smiling, but not like he does with you. No, he is showing off, he knows that he has already won even if the march isn’t over yet, he is the one that makes you smile now. 

It piss me off. I don’t need to be reminded of what I’ve lost. Just seeing your face is enough. 

I watch as you talk once more with Atsumu. It's not like you don't talk to the rest of your teammates, exchanging tips and plans about what to do next, but you’re different with him. All the time, you stay close to Atsumu and none of you shy away from touching each another, with small touches that you don’t even seems to have to think about. 

I wish I was the one that you were doing all that. I wish I could play with you once more. I wish I was in your life. I wish I got to see your everyday again. 

“Kageyama, are you okay?” I hear Ushijima's voice. 

_No. It’s hurts. And I want to get out, to pretend that I can’t understand how I’ll never get you back and that whatever you has with Atsumu is the real thing._

I wonder how bad I must look, if even Ushijima notices there's something wrong with me. I appreciate his worry, but the truth wouldn't do any good to anyone right now. I know I'll have to deal with it later, but I can ignore it until the end of the game, at least. 

“Yes,” I lie, letting out my “scary” smile. “It’s time to win”.

Ushijima doesn’t look convinced, but I pretended that he is as once more I put myself in front of you, promising myself that I won’t let Miya steal this moment. You’re my rival and I won’t let neither of us forgot what this game is truly about. 

Is not easy, because I look to you and for a moment I let myself be take back to the start, to the wonder I felt and how curious I was of seeing how hard you tried, even if you're totally terrible back then. I could live a thousand lives, but I would never forget the fire in your eyes that day. You wanted to win so badly and I wanted to understand how you could be so terrible if you wanted that much.

But then, as the total idiot I was, my respect for you was shown as something completely different and you hated me.

I still don't know exactly when I managed to win your respect, yet somewhere along the way we also became friends and unstoppable. You've become such a huge part of my life that when we part our ways, I felt so lonely and empty. I missed all of Karasuno, but mostly you. There was nobody else that could play with me all day, or even make the practice more fun. 

I thought that at this game, I would finally feel like before. I don't. I just feel angry, sad and jealous that you've got so close to Miya.

And now I understand how silly it was to think that time could go back.

So I focus on the game instead.

Whatever it takes, I'll win. I'll show you that at least as rival I'm still worth it. I will win once again and force you to look at me with that amazed glare once more. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, Tobio, this was my way to deal with chapter 387.  
> https://twitter.com/TrisPond


End file.
